‘I'm bewildered at what he's done’: Man breaks cousin's miter saw after borrowing it, then offers to buy him a new one, cousin agrees, but only if he doesn't use it again

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Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 6, 2026 6:00 AM EDT

If you borrowed something and you somehow broke it, what are you supposed to do next?

I always feel a great sense of responsibility when I ask to borrow something from a family member or a close friend. They are trusting me with an item they spent their hard-earned money on, and they expect it to be returned to them safe and sound as soon as I'm done with it, as it should. Every time I use this borrowed item, I make sure I treat it with extra care, and I try to avoid any risks while it is in my possession. The last thing I want is for something to happen to it on my watch.

But alas, accidents happen, and sometimes you find yourself having to explain to your friend or family member that something has happened to the item they kindly allowed you to borrow.

Then, you are faced with two options: Either you apologize and give them the item back, regardless of the damage you caused it, or you offer to supply a replacement, making sure you do right by the people who tried to help you. You can guess which option I would go for, and which option is generally more socially appropriate for any reasonable adult. 

That being said, there are still grey areas that might make a simple situation a lot more complicated, like the one in the story below. This man borrowed a miter saw from his cousin in the hopes of using it to cut some boards, but in the process, he ended up completely breaking it. Now, as a responsible adult, this man took accountability and offered to buy a replacement, and this is where the situation gets slightly tricky. While the cousin is happy to accept a replacement saw, he doesn't want the new one to be used by his family member again. Since the man clearly doesn't know how to use a saw, there is a chance he will break the new one if he uses it again.

This led the cousin to turn to Reddit and ask what he should do next. Should he accept the new saw and allow his family member to use it, or should he find another solution that ensures the saw is returned safely to his hands?

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  • Man using a saw to cut wood.
    via Jonathan Castañeda

    Man using a saw to cut wood.

    Subject is a model.

  • WIBTAH if I asked for a replacement item that was broken while borrowed to not be used before returning it to me?

    I find this situation surprisingly awkward. My (M30) wife's cousin (M45) asked to borrow my miter saw, which I had no issue with. I was under the impression that
    via CommonGrounders
  • he was handy, as he had done many home improvement projects in the past. However, his saw couldn't quite cut a few massive boards he had, so he borrowed mine.
    via CommonGrounders
  • He called me last week to tell me that he broke my saw and wanted to buy a new one. I told him it was likely repairable, as they do sell parts for it. I asked him how it
    via CommonGrounders
  • was a broken and he sent me a picture and it is completely fed up, like, torn metal and bent arms, and the power cord is cut. I don't know how he did it, I asked him but his explanation does not make sense.
    via CommonGrounders
  • So anyway, he wants to buy me a replacement saw, which is very nice. But he also still needs to make his cuts. But seeing what he did to the saw this time... I kinda don't want a
    via CommonGrounders
  • saw he's used. My saw was not brand new, it's a couple years old, and I've used it plenty. So I also feel bad benefitting from this situation. I was
    via CommonGrounders
  • going to suggest he buy me a used saw, but that obviously would make it even worse - asking him to buy me somethin used, just not something HE used.
    via CommonGrounders
  • Man sawing wood in a shop.
    via Samantha Fortney

    Man sawing wood in a shop.

    Subject is a model.

  • So, would I be the a hole if I told him to buy me the saw and not use it? Can I even do that politely without making him feel like an idiot? I don't
    via CommonGrounders
  • dislike the guy I'm just literally bewildered at what he's done here. It is broken in a way I didn't think was possible. So if he can do that, what won't I see? Am I going to have a saw
    via CommonGrounders
  • blade flying into my face one day? ETA: Lots of people suggesting I show him how to use it or make the cuts which is great,
    via CommonGrounders
  • but they live very far away. I am not driving 14 hours round. trip to cut 20 boards for someone else, with my own saw. He is here every month, at least once a month, for
    via CommonGrounders
  • work and visiting the dozens of family members that live near me, since he's lived here for 20 years.
    via CommonGrounders
  • Severe-News-9375 YWNBTA. Find an equivalent of your saw, tell him the amount, have him give you cash/transfer the money, then pick up the
    via Severe-News-9375
  • replacement yourself. If he asks to use it, it's in your possession and it's easier to decline.
    via Severe-News-9375
  • Prestigious-Moose345 I think if you want to preserve goodwill, you may need to offer to show him how to use the new saw, then basically don't let him touch it. Go to the store with
    via Prestigious-Moose345
  • him to buy it, go back to his house, take over and "show him" how to use it by finishing his project for him and leave with the saw.
    via Prestigious-Moose345
  • mallow6134 You would only be NTA if it comes with a "I'll help you cut those boards first". It still might be a bit awkward. Hopefully someone here has a nice way to word it.
    via mallow6134

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replacement family drama saw wife husband borrow family break money cousins cousin
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